Hey everyone,
It's been awhile, I know. Life is crazy...and about to get a little crazier! 2014 has come and gone and I have welcomed 2015 with open arms and ready to make the great dream come true.
But lets back up a bit. Last time I posted, I was still settled in Columbus dancing with Columbus Dance Theatre. At the end of the season, I had to make the difficult but necessary decision to leave the company due to personal and career reasons. I loved dancing in Columbus and made wonderful friends making my experience with Columbus Dance Theatre an unforgettable one! I still miss all of my fellow CDT-ers so very much! But, I also learned a lot about myself and life from my experience in Columbus.
Like the iconic quote in It's a Wonderful Life (by far my favorite movie btw :) where George Bailey and his father are talking at the dinner table during George's last meal "at the ol' Bailey boarding house" before he goes away to college, my mother has always told me, "You're born older." By this she means that my personality and mentality are always years ahead of my actual numerical age. I have always been a planner, wanting to know what I'm going to do today and tomorrow and the day after that.... I have always been a very future-oriented, goal seeker, and despite my attempts to relax and be spontaneous, I probably always will be. Now, don't get me wrong, there are a lot of positives that come from my anxious attitude, I actually think it's a main reason why I graduated college high in my class. But, no matter what I do, I can't always control every aspect of my life- something I also was forced to learned through battling pas de deux work, but that's a whole other story!
My two year gap since I have been out of school has allowed me to come to terms with this idea. After I didn't get into medical school right away during my senior year, I thought my life was going to come to a halt. But, like I had hoped, it turned out to be the greatest blessing of all.
After my season with CDT, I returned to my hometown where I started my job at Samaritan Hospital, hoping that keeping my feet wet in the medical field would help me when it came to applying to medical schools again, began teaching at three different dance studios (I never thought I would enjoy teaching dance as much as I have), planned to dance with my old company here in Albany, and most of all started to enjoy what I was doing every day instead of just going through the motions. I got to live out literally every little girls' dream by dancing the role that made my passion for dance grow with me through all these years, work with some of the most inspiring doctors and health professionals out there, and overall spend more time with my family which was definitely needed. It let me breathe over life a bit more- I'm still not very good at it but I'm working on it :).
Now my life is, once again, getting ready to change-possibly the biggest one yet. Even while dancing my heart out and doing what I really truly loved every day, I still had that calling. Some say it's a sign from God, others say it's in my blood, but me, I think it is truly what I was meant to do for this world. God gave me this amazing talent of dance that I am so insanely grateful for. It actually had me question my career goals this year. But although it is a beautiful art form requiring the highest amount of focus, endurance, and strength (physically & mentally), it's essence is somewhat selfish and that's because it needs to be- it's possibly the most competitive "sport" there is and as a professional, your life depends on it! Now don't get me wrong, I am NOT saying dancers are selfish. Dancers are some of the most un-selfish people I have ever met. But in the grand scheme of things, other than simply loving dance, why do we love it? It's because it makes us, the dancer, feel "good"- we're proud of ourselves for landing that triple pirouette, we feel a sense of accomplishment when we hear the sound of a roaring applause, we feel alive as our muscles ache from a long day of rehearsals. Now, do we impact others' lives? Of course! Seeing a once-in-a-lifetime performance can turn that little girl sitting in the back row into the Sugar Plum Fairy one day! Part of me wishes that this career was all I want to do with my life, it sure as hell would have made the last couple years much easier. But something inside me yearns for more. I want to make the lasting impression on someone that can literally change their LIFE. I want to be able to bring a man back to this world after suffering cardiac arrest. I want to be able give a woman, facing only a few months to live, years to see her grandchildren grow up. That is what has been missing from my life.
Which leads me to my new career in medicine. Starting this September, I am attending Ross University School of Medicine to pursue this long awaited dream. Moving away from dance and towards my career in medicine does not mean I am losing ANY of my passion for dance! Dance will always have a place in my heart and I will continue to dance for as long as I can. In fact, if I am ever so lucky to perform my first surgery I want to do it in pointe shoes- no step stool necessary plus it reminds me where I come from. Although the idea of becoming a retired professional ballerina still sits very sour with me, I am excited for this new chapter in my life.
Now if you excuse me, I have to get ready to take ballet class...some things may never change!
